What a beautiful way to look at how humanity arrived on earth. I think for the first time I feel understanding about how it all began. As one who could never really accept the bible stories, yet understanding there had to be some significance to them, I have often struggled with how we came to be and why. This video gives me such a sense of peace and love, I just had to share it.
For the past 3 years, I have been talking about such things, but from the perspective of my own experiences. I have often written about forgiveness, loving others and finding the connection to all living things on our beautiful planet. So for me this was a gift, put on my path to discover in order to have my own thoughts and ideas returned to me through the voice of another.
After listening to the above video, I further understand my need to share my thoughts and ideas over the past years, even though I am no longer on my journey in Ecuador. My life path, although it seems I am back where I started in so many ways, is in essence an inner journey, having nothing to do with location. From the start my desire has been about discovering my true self and believing in who I was born to be. The emptiness ruling so much of my life needing to be understood; there were so many aspects of my life which required clarification. In reality, is this not the same journey we are all on? We may be in different stages as we walk our path, or have very different reasons, but our goal is truly the same, although we may not recognize it.
Below is a quote from the text version of the video.
“………The root cause is that people feel disconnected from their true being, the spark of divine light that they really are. To offer healing to people is to open up their memory of Home, to remind them of their perfect beauty, strength and innocence………”
When I heard this one sentence spoken in the beautiful voice of the host, I suddenly understood the significance of a gift received around this time last year as I struggled with thoughts of my own demise. I had completely forgotten who I was, who I was born to be. The path of healing has been quite long and winding, so the sudden reminder provided by “Spirit” came as quite a shock as I saw myself not as a timid, scared girl, but a child full of love and light. There could really be no greater gift given at that time as I prepared to let go of my life.
In the memory, which occurred after one of my terrible panic attacks, I was shown myself around 2 years old, just before the trauma began. Smiling and full of joy, I was running towards someone I loved, bathed in a golden light. This small reminder brings tears to my eyes whenever I think of it, as I am now because I understood then as I wrote about it, I had found home.
The quote above confirms what I felt that day, I had found home in the moment provided. Over the past year the challenge has been accepting this truth, because the trauma and wall of lies engrained within me the falsehood I was unworthy, a failure, and completely undesirable or unlovable.
Hearing these videos has brought me back to the quiet space in Ecuador as I allowed myself to become still and accept whatever path became clear. As I fell into the old way of living I knew before my journey to South America, the vision of my true self once more became difficult to hold onto.
Working to live and living to work, the representation of the old way of being, caused me to lose my hold on the importance of what was discovered during my 2 years of isolation and solitude. Living this way is all connected to a patterned response of believing I must satisfy others needs over my own. Yet the strength of lessens learned while away has given me the ability to push away all those who believe this also, in essence demanding some respect for what I achieved and the difficult choices only I could understand the value of. Until you face such situations, how can you truly value the experience? Of course this is understandable, but it has been necessary for me to create safe space around me in order to continue the journey. I lived a whole lifetime in a manner which satisfied everyone but me and this is not a situation I wish to continue. Doing so would be a slap in the face to all who helped me achieve this level of understanding.
My time in Ecuador taught me the value of living for myself, my truth and my needs, fighting the ingrained beliefs this was selfish behaviour. I see now, the lesson in coming back here was to bring that new way of being into my old world; merge them both and eliminate all which no longer serves me. This is a process which has taken time as I emerged myself in the way of life I hoped never to return to. Accepting there was more to learn, the only way to continue and not lose faith in my choices, especially the one which required me to leave behind my truest companion.
One of my challenges upon returning here, has been to train people to call me “Gabriel” rather than Gaby. The Filipinos I worked with started the shortening of my name thereby reducing the importance or perhaps the significance of the battle I fought to regain it. Because of them, everyone in Maple Creek called me Gaby, with the exception of a few. Even though I confirmed upon being asked my preference, to be called Gabriel, Gaby is what stuck. My inner strength, my belief in the importance not enough back then to fight for my preference. This has changed!
At first, it was difficult to ask people to please call me Gabriel, some seemed offended, but over the last year the beauty of the name my father called me, has become most important. I wish to be called by my true name, not some reduced value of what was essentially the most important gift given me in the short time I had with him. There is so much love attached to my name and so the need in me to hear it as he said it very supportive now. The return of my birth name taking over thirty years, which then became the trigger to this complicated road of self discovery. I cannot stress enough the value of this gift and so I am grateful to the many who now honor this request and do so with pleasure. I have become less concerned with how others feel about it as my strength of conviction grows. This is how I am now healing, forgiving and moving forward each day, by respecting the one gift I carry from the man who gave me the understanding of love and it’s great importance. This, I believe is allowing me to begin carrying the light I had as a child, the most healing experience I can share with all I meet. The video above also speaks of the importance of our true name, quote below….
“………..Perceiving someone else’s true power and inner light, even if they don’t show it on the surface, is like calling someone by their true name. Nothing is as powerful as being called by your true name……..”
We are all capable of being light workers, it is our own thoughts which prevent us from doing more with the gift of life and love we are born with. Seeing the beauty in others no matter how they present themselves is a choice. Loving others despite our differences, is a choice. Being our true selves is a choice. Start each day with the thought of sharing your light……where will it take you? I wonder 🤗