3 years ago on Mach 12th, I wrote the following:
“……..Labels – why do we have to label people, categorize them, pigeon hole them? This reminded me of being in high school and all the years I was told I was “skinny”. Back then I wondered why it was an insult to be called “fat”, but it was ok to call someone “skinny”. I was offended by that term, I was a ballerina, I was very fit, I was not skinny. But even if I was skinny, why is one word of judgement ok, but not the other? I believe it is because of what we have experienced in our lives, that which makes us uncomfortable enough to judge someone else.
As we rounded another corner, I thought about where I am from, who my parents are and where I am living. I thought about DNA, about how the many cultures of the world have migrated, the integration of culture, and how some can accept, while others cannot. I am not white, I am not black I am not brown or yellow. I am all those colours…….. I am human. I do not belong to any race, religion or culture, I made my own…….I am human. I am not from one country, I come from more than one…..I am human. I am not a category……I am human.
I am often the only white person on the bus or in a crowd of people – it is actually rare for me to be in the company of any other white people. Since living here though I have begun to resent the label of “white” and now refer to myself as a “gringo” which means foreigner, even though it doesn’t seem quite right either. The truth is I don’t know what I am, what country I am from what race or culture I belong to, when I was born or where. I live in a world that seems to have not wanted me and do not really know how to fit in. It is a strange and difficult feeling to deal with most days. I think it has made me complicated, my thoughts and ideas never quite matching up to those around me – something I have always been afraid of…..until now. I am the condor and the eagle, I fly in both worlds, but not in either.
The frequent trips on the bus have taught me that I am myself, born into a world different from anyone I know. It has taken me a lifetime, but I have decided I will not stand in the shadow of anyone’s judgement. When you have walked a mile in my shoes, you will be in a better position to understand me. But until then you can never understand what it is I face each day and I hope you never have to…….
I am not like you, I never will be, nor do I want to be. I am unique, my thoughts and ideals are my own, I often stand alone, but I am comfortable with that. I am human….. I invite you to step out of your category and just be human. Let go of all that binds you to that category, be you without the judgements attached to your category. Be free, be part of everything, be nothing, be alone in your space.……”
Today I would like to add something to this blog entry which seems to finish what I started. While sitting in my chair watching a show, I saw out of the corner of my eye a golden light to my right. The light seemed to shoot out horizontally beside me stopping just short of my chair, like a bolt of lightening only more solid somehow, or maybe just heavier.
As I prepared for bed, unsettled by the presence of the light (not in a bad way) now too restless to continue watching the silly show. Walking to my room I began to write this portion in my mind, or more honestly I was being asked to write what I was being told.
If we remove all the labels attached to us by our own self or others, we simply and beautifully become a “child of God”. If we were all to lose our labels, we then all become “a child of God” effectively making us “all the same”. It is our life journey which makes us different, not our label, so it is another’s journey we should be observing, not who they are because of the label given. Labels often come with preconceived notions, thereby limiting our perspective and ability to learn from someone who has travelled an often significantly different path. Who are we without the labels? How (potentially) does the character we were born with change because of the labels? In other words do the labels change how we think of ourselves? This is important because how we think of ourselves is often how we expect others to see us, good or bad.
We create the differences, the boundaries, borders and walls with the labels, which means we create the racism, segregation and prejudices by insisting on the labels which we deem fit. We were not born with those restrictions in our hearts, they are man made not God given. It is not your culture, color of your skin or religious beliefs which determine your character, but how you treat one another. Respect is earned, not given simply because of your position, skin color or race.
There is another reason this line of thinking is important for me to share. If you apply this thought process to my parents and the labels they carried because of their status, you will find it is those labels which make it difficult to accept I am their daughter. If my parents were the same to you as they were in my eyes, then like me, there would most likely be no problem accepting the reality. It is who they became – larger than life – because of the journey they were on which makes it impossible to see me – a tiny spec by comparison – to be their daughter. It is my journey you must look at to understand, not the color of my skin, my hair or my eyes. It is not where I live or how I live that should matter, rather it is how I arrived here and why. It is in my words, thoughts and actions I can be seen as my fathers daughter. It is not my physical appearance, or the small life in the small town where I live which defines my character, rather it was how I survived the years of being forced to live in a world I did not belong in or understand.
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