October 17, 2023
It’s 1:00 am our time, but midnight here in Los Angeles where I’m spending the next 12 hours before I can board my flight to Peru. Sitting here as everything closes down for the night, I am quite amazed to realize there is this beautiful glow inside me. As I jump the hurdles in front of me and make each connection as I’m supposed to, there is less anxiety and more glow. This is really not something expected, at least not at this stage of my journey.
Well I’ve got a long night ahead of me – not sure how I’ll spend the time, but people watching is always enjoyable. There are so many different faces in our world, it sometimes amazes me the vast array of personalities, body types and faces there are. I’m quite fascinated by the uniqueness of so many individuals when you can watch them in such large numbers. Stepping off the plane in Los Angeles and seeing how many people were waiting to catch their flight was a bit overwhelming. After living in Maple Creek, Calgary seemed so busy with the number of bodies walking around the airport, but Los Angeles is overwhelming! I understood how my son felt when he went to India saying: “there are so many people it’s annoying!” Walking into such a big crowd feels suffocating, I couldn’t wait to find a quiet corner to sit and remove myself from all the energy. Believe it or not I did find such a corner to sit and am indeed completely alone with the exception of those who have just got off their flight and walking by every once in awhile.
After some time, I was joined by another woman who just wanted a quiet place to try and sleep. I also tried to get some sleep, but couldn’t let myself feel safe enough to do so. Then I began to worry about my connecting flight and the difficulty of getting it taken care of. This woman tried to help me because she flies a lot and so offered some advice. In the end I just became more worried about doing the right thing over what might be easier (as suggested by her), I did what was first suggested by an airport employee. So I left her around 6:30 my time and proceeded to go back out of the terminal only to get my boarding pass so I could come back in. What a crazy situation, something I actually tried to avoid. Thought I had avoided.
In the end it was ok because through this process I met some really nice people who spent the night the way I did. The one couple was from Peru, living now n the US, and going back to Peru for a holiday and family visit. They helped me come out of the impeding panic attack as the time dragged on and I worried about my ticket. Another man who now lives in Chile, joined the conversation and as we met up after having to go through the whole customs craziness, which was quite interesting.
Before leaving the woman who joined me in my quiet corner, I began to worry about losing my hummingbird stone, although I’m not sure why. I had thought about it a few times, worrying I might drop it if I dozed off on the plane, so took extra care to keep it safe. Again, I’m not sure why I began feeling uncomfortable with this person, but I did. The glow warming my heart before she arrived faded into the familiar feelings of uncertainty and dis-trust. Something just felt off as we talked and I was sorry I shared as much as I did with her about my journey. It began to eat at me and this was in part why I needed to leave. My quiet corner allowing me to contemplate in peace my journey became a space no longer my own and I began to resent her presence. When I left I was filled with quite a bit of anxiety, getting more concerned by the minute – it seemed an eternity in the departures terminal one floor below as I waited for the airline ticket booths to open. Another 3 hours almost in fact. So the older couple who talked with me, laughed with me and broke me out of my spell was very welcome.
Once we had our boarding passes we headed back upstairs to the very long line of those needing to take off their shoes, remove belts and take things out of pockets. Fill the tubs with carryon luggage and purses, etc. we were rushed because there were so many of us, and I feel this is when I lost my precious hummingbird stone. The man rushing us said “make sure you take everything out of your pockets, and my hand went to my stone. After that I cannot remember what I did with it and it was only much later as we were preparing to board the plane I realized it was gone. I did a thorough search of my purse and suitcase, although I knew it would not be in the duffle bag. It was important to check though, my stomach getting that weird queasy feeling as it sank knowing it was gone. Undeniably frustrated and sad because it had become an important part of my journey even during the week or so before I left. From the moment I heard papa say “ my little hummingbird, it became a strong symbol of the meaning behind this decision to make the trip. Now I can no longer rely on its energy to give me comfort and carry me forward. But then this is most likely the reason it disappeared in the manner it did. None the less it was unsettling and I am wondering what it may mean in addition if anything. Writing about it now as we fly towards Peru has me a little sad.
October 18, 2023
Day 1 in Bolivia
The first things I noticed while in the taxi taking me to my hotel from the airport, was the humidity, warm breeze and the birdsong. It was still dark, but the birds were singing to the beginning of a new day and although I couldn’t see them as we sped down the road, it felt like magic to my ears. My hotel was very unassuming, just a regular building amongst many others lining the street. I remember thinking it would be easy to get lost. The taxi driver was so happy and nice, the woman at the hotel couldn’t have been more helpful despite the language barrier. Once again I am grateful for google translate which bridged the gap allowing us to understand each other taking some of the pressure off.
After explaining what I hoped to do while I am here, she took all my information for the itinerary as she agreed to find someone suitable to take me on the tour, then she took me to a room – a different one than what had been previously booked because of the early hour of my arrival. I was so tired after spending the last 3 days in buses and airports (15 hours in LAX) and planes, I couldn’t wait to collapse. She was wonderful and when she showed me the alternate room for my approval I could not help but smile because it was #13. I knew I was in the right place and felt myself accept the unpredictable journey embarked on as I am being guided by the hummingbird, my own spirit energy.
It feels like deja vu as I sit in a local restaurant waiting for my food. No one here speaks English, so I’m struggling to remember everything I learned from studying months before my departure date. What was confidence only the other day it seems, is now a struggle as I try to keep up to their fast way of speaking. My fresh lemon juice just arrived and it tastes like home. Despite not knowing the language well enough to converse properly, everyone is friendly and once more I feel comfortable being in the atmosphere. Having only arrived about 8 hours ago, it’s surprising how it seems as though I’ve been here longer. It’s not as familiar as Ecuador was when I left and I’m worried I have gotten myself lost in the few short blocks I have walked to get to the bank and browse the mercado similar to Plaza de Ponchos.
Although they do accept US currency here, the money preferred is the Boliviano dollar, so it was respectful to change my US money to their currency. $450.00 gave me $3,080.00 Bolivian dollars, so at the moment I feel like I hit the jackpot. However my tour must be paid for before I allow myself to support the kiosks in the mercado which have many beautiful items to select as gifts. Watching the people and the traffic, hearing the music and sitting in the open cafe, I feel as if I never left South America.
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