Birthday, the celebration of the day you were born. For me this has been a bit of a mystery, one which I hope to unravel while here. While growing up my birthday was mostly associated with traumatic events, ones that got safely locked away in that powerful stronghold in my mind. I cannot ever remember having a birthday party or celebration of any kind, not as a child, or adolescent and so it has always been a day of emotional duality.
Part of me wants so much to celebrate like everyone else, but I can’t get over the discomfort of having the attention and receiving gifts. This also happens for any special occasion like Christmas or Easter. As a result I tend to hide away as best I can on October 21, the day I have always thought of as my birthday.
This year I kept it quiet here, not telling anyone, preferring to spend the day in quiet reflection. I took Mali for a nice walk and enjoyed the feeling of being in such a special place. I have so much to be grateful for including the wonderful wishes for a good day from those back home. It made me smile to remember the many good people I have been fortunate enough to become acquainted with over the years.
A nice place to spend some time relaxing enjoying the warmth of the sun. It was because of this day of quiet reflection that I was able to accept the knowledge of the day I believe is my true birth date. I am always amazed at how information comes in when I give myself the time to quiet the mind and push away the clutter that normally occupies that space. Although I had this information for over 6 months, it just never really penetrated the wall making space for it’s energy. Sunday I allowed it to take root and today I decided to let it grow by putting it here in my travel diary. November 25, 1960, this is the day I will now celebrate my birth. Somehow it feels good to put it down acknowledging its presence. Perhaps, my original birth documents will find there way to me now that I have allowed this idea to be out there, who knows.
I have this idea that by acceptance, we allow the reality to present itself up front and center. If we continue to push the possibility to the background, then that is where it will always stay. It has taken a couple of years off my age too which is a little bit of alright, I feel younger already……
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