I was born to succeed but was taught to believe I could only fail……
For the first two years of my life I had the supreme gifts of love and freedom. When you are a child blessed with such a loving and peaceful environment, there is no way to imagine the darkness in the world, but it exists. Whether we believe something is possible does not determine its possibility to exist, just as believing something is true does not make it truth. All it takes is for someone else to imagine and manifest what they desire – we all have the capability to do so. However, not everyone is content with love and peace, this is the yin and yang of life. Some believe we cannot understand the value of peace, harmony and love it if there is no threat to take it away. But I wonder, if there was no threat, would we be so fearful.
Our fears cause us to hoard, to collect and to protect everything we own so we don’t lose what we worked so hard for. If we all had enough, would we be so focused on protecting our “things” at all cost? Would we be willing to sacrifice someone else to protect ourselves? Would we be so willing to justify theft and murder, lying and cheating? Would truth be more important than justifying our actions, right or wrong? Would we have done a better job of protecting our children this past year?
I had a horrible dream this morning about a child who was pregnant. My mind was in turmoil when I woke from my dream in which this small child was giving birth to a baby. I was caught up in a story which made no sense, yet I was so emotionally involved, it terrified me into waking.
When I woke, I was left with the memory of the baby literally falling out of the child, still attached to the umbilical cord, the child completely unaware of what just happened. I was with a group of teachers who were scrambling to get this child to hospital. As you can imagine, I was completely confused by what I was feeling when I woke. I did not want to close my eyes again, but the image of this tiny baby haunts me still, it was so real. This only means “Spirit” was giving me a message meant for my complete attention.
If parents are willing to allow their children to wear a mask all day at school, the idea they are germ spreaders being engrained into their minds, then it is not difficult for me to imagine what comes next. If parents sit back while the government changes the age of consent to 12 years in order to coerce them into making a decision about a life changing experimental injection, will they care what happens next?
Because of my dream I imagine if they can change the age of consent to 12 for the shots, they can change the age of consensual sex as well to 12 or younger if they deem fit. And what comes after that? What has happened to parents that they will allow such harmful situations to become possible? I know what comes next……..I’ve already lived through what they plan for us……..and I wonder if I’m strong enough to face it as an adult. As a child, I was completely unprepared for the darkest side of humans, it was not part of my life. I was born to succeed.
They made sure I understood how deep and dark the hole could be however. I was taught to believe I could only fail.
In so many ways, I agree with the prognosis given to me as the child I became, locked in a room. I have failed at everything I have ever done and I wonder why I keep going, why I try. I have made promises I begin to realize I most likely can’t keep, I have debt I cannot pay and once more I face the possibility of losing what little I need to survive. I see and feel so much fear and pain from the people who come into the store every day, I am often overwhelmed with the sorrow of it. I just want it to end some days. My memories of Ecuador often help me come back to a better place in my mind because I experienced a sense of belonging which gave me peace for those 2 years. It wasn’t a perfect situation either, causing the debt I now have, the situation trapping me into stillness. In the stillness I was able to face the inevitability of death, so I face it once again here. Would it be so bad to get off this merry-go-round? There is nothing left for me to fight for, everything has been taken from me, including my freedom. For how can I travel to be with my friends, if I must sell my soul to do so? Losing the best part of who I am, which is what would happen if I took the shots, makes the journey to anywhere unremarkable and unnecessary because I will have lost everything I fought my whole life to not lose. Who I am is all I live for because who you are born to be is the most important part of living. Everything else is a distraction meant to test your belief in your true self, your connection to the energy which gave you life.
Like the frog in the boiling pot of water, we are slowly, almost imperceptibly losing every aspect of a free life. We are all trapped in a matrix of our making, fear the instrument used to coerce so many into creating the invisible walls enclosing us, which will destroy so much of our beautiful world. So many believe they ensured their freedom by getting the shots, but they in fact lost that and so much more by allowing themselves to be fooled. Who will care about the children, their future when the empathy of the majority has disappeared?
I was told not long ago the spirits of the children discovered in Kelowna are with me. They asked for my permission to stay in order to protect me because I will understand how to help the children damaged by all of this. On my worst days, this is what I focus on, this idea the children run up and down my hallway playing with Señorita Mali. Once in awhile I see evidence this may be true, but like so much of my life’s story, I cannot prove what I was told to be truth. Still I hang onto the possibility because it is all I have to give me reason to hold on to my life. I begin to see the surprise guest I sheltered for a week came only to deliver the children and their message in order for me to not fail at life. I was born to succeed and the idea of their presence here reminds me of who I once was, a daughter born of love, meant to love and heal.