Celebration

Last night we celebrated. I seem to have landed here at a time of celebrations, which is quite fortunate for me.

There was a small group of young women here from England who were volunteering in the area. They spent 2 weeks in this particular area, living with different families while learning the way of life. The other day while we were driving into Otavalo we passed them standing around a large pile of sand, shovels in hand. So they are here to help with whatever needs being done. They have learned the language well and at the celebration last night they demonstrated  their ability to speak Spanish, but two of them had also learned some phrases in Quichua, the incan’s native language.

I had met the girls in the afternoon while Willak’s family were away attending a funeral for a young girl only five years old. Because this was there last night here, the girls had planned a farewell feast, but the oven where they were staying was not working, so they came to use the one here at Pakarinka.

At 7:00 everyone returned with the families that they were staying with and the celebration began. From a celebration of death, to one of life in a single day showing that life continues amisdst our sorrows and loss. Always there is a reason to be grateful and smile at all that we still have. The people here smile so easily, their hardships do not get in the way of joy.

For me it was lovely to watch as the girls, two per family demonstrated the piece of culture learned that they would return home with. One group demonstrated traditional dance, another the new language learned speaking phrases and counting to 10, another group played a traditional song on the flute. The introductions for each group was done in Spanish and then in English so I was able to understand what was being said. There are still a few ways that I am an island among a sea of people, but the difference being that there is always an effort to include me in what is happening around me. For now I am content to just absorb the experiences, letting their easy way of being fill me up. When they were finished, we enjoyed the deserts made by the girls, their way of saying thank you for the experience. Once everyone had had their fill, Willak and his family brought out their instruments and the music began. It was very lively and festive and very soon everyone was up out of their chairs and dancing in a circle around the small band. It was announced that the festivities would continue at a different house where there was also a celebration happening. I didn’t find out what this celebration was for, but really it did not matter, it was just a small house party with a band, dancing and merriment.

Th band was playing when we got there, I could hear the music as we got closer to the home of Willak’s sister. We all found a chair and sat down ready for a night of fun. It seems to be a tradition here when you are in someone’s home, there will always be one or more people go to each of the people arriving giving a personal  greeting, shaking your hand and giving a small hug saying Buenos días, buenos tardas or buenos notches depending on the time of day. They don’t leave anyone out when they do this – everyone is welcome.

We had not been there long when the dancing began, the music tickling their feet into moving and before long the dancefloor was full, smiles and laughter filling the room.

The children are not left out, they are there to eat, dance and enjoy the evening as well, until they fall asleep on the nearest chair. A selection of food was brought out and everyone helped themselves until there was nothing left. Feeling the discomfort of so many strange and new experiences I did not join the line up for the food, but it was well enjoyed, many going back for seconds. By the time I felt I had the courage to help myself, there were no more plates, so my fear caused me to miss out this time. Even though I have taken many big steps recently and faced some difficult fears, it is often the little things that stop me from joining in. Still I cannot seem to accept that I am welcome no matter what the situation unless I am personally invited. This goes back to  my childhood living with a family I was not part of, my presence not welcome.  I was criticized when I tried to be part of something I was not invited to, creating a  fear of rejection or severe discipline; the result of a lifetime of conditioning.

Excerpt from:   “FindingHome”

They changed my name, gave me a new identity, brought me to a new country, spoke a different language, ate different food and had different beliefs. 

They lacked courage, honour and honesty. I did not belong and was not made to feel welcome by those who would become my new family. I became a pawn in a fight for dominance over countries that had no real way to fight back. Selfish acts of violence, power, greed and control, buried in endless layers of lies, deceit and corruption. It was for these reasons that I lost my soul. 

It is for the memory of love, peace, honour and morality that I fought to reclaim that lost soul. 

I came here to Ecuador to begin a journey back to my past. Hope is the reason for my being here, understanding what I wish to gain and closure on a story that was shattered into thousands of pieces which some hoped would  never be put back together. When I am with these people I am not afraid of who I believe I am. This was a fear that I felt in canada, a place I never truly  belonged. Here my name and all that means feels right.

As I finish this entry I turned to see my first hummingbird since arriving here. For me the hummingbird is a symbol of joy, happiness. I was not fast enough getting to the camera to take a picture, but it is enough that I was given this symbol of hope, a clear indication based on the timing of its arrival, for all that I am here for becoming a reality. Joy  is the foundation of this journey