God does not punish us for our sins, he gave us free will. This allows us to choose our path, make the decisions we need to in order to fulfil our soul path or contract.
While God made hold record of our choices and the consequences of our actions, or in some cases inaction, in truth we punish ourselves. We come back life after life until we get it right. It is my belief we come back to experience both sides, otherwise how can we truly understand? We are all on the path back to God, some are just further along than others.
It gives me much unrest to accept the knowledge in one or more of my past lives, I inflicted the same kind of pain on someone else as I have experienced in this life. Not a simple “I’m sorry” to make things right or even a little better then. However, this has been going around in my thoughts during this holiday, which has been spent in isolation. Will forgiveness help to ease the burden? If I can view this overall life changing dilemma from the perspective of forgiveness, perhaps moving forward becomes easier. It does feel worth the effort.
During the last five days, I felt tired to the bone, once more reminded of Bilbo Baggins as he gets ready to board the elves ship. He explains to Frodo some wounds can’t be healed. There are too many days lately when this feels true, my desire to hide from the world increasingly stronger.
I watched the movie “The Man Who Invented Christmas” last night. It is the story of how Charles Dickens came to write “A Christmas Carol” a tale so well loved, even today. I definitely recommend watching this honest and heartfelt movie which gives a bit of insight into the life of the author. Sometimes we only view the success of someone, not seeing what happened before. For myself, I have always loved “A Christmas Carol” because of the change in Scrooge, who for his own reasons led a very selfish life. Because he was given such a momentous gift from “Spirit”, he found his heart was still capable of love and trust.
I once got into an argument with a person about the belief I hold that everyone has the ability to love. She argued vehemently this was not possible. Her belief, truly bad people are not capable of love. Last night while watching this movie I was once more reminded of this conversation, allowing me once more to stand solid in my belief we come from love, so we are capable of love. We are human, so our actions are not simply black or white, love or hate. There are many layers defining us based on our experiences. Any of us can change if we desire to do so.
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