Finding Home, Chapter 10; Rejection

Rejection
Do the children know their father spent their inheritance? Do they realize the reason he was forced to pay it back was because of my efforts, that I helped to secure the money meant for their future? Do they realize the money left to them by their Great Grandmother could have been lost had I not intervened?
This is just one of the many lies and deceptions with which I have been challenged. Still, and beyond all reason he became their hero, the one who emerged from the fight unscathed. But then, he was the one with the castle, the army, and all the weapons….all for a dishonourable cause
One of the hardest things I have ever had to hear in my life were the words my young adult daughter Rheann spoke to me not long after she moved to Calgary. I had been doing my best to stay in contact with my three older children, but they rarely answered my letters. Phone calls were very strained with Rheann and Colby on the extension arguing with each other, thus making it difficult to converse. On this particular occasion my daughter told me that she no longer needed me, she had a new mother now. I really did not know how to react. How does one respond to something like that? Still, I remained positive one day they would find the way back.
The final blow, certainly most of all for Lucas, came in our last correspondence with Joshua. Before he disappeared from our lives for good my oldest son Joshua phoned to let us know of his plans to marry, inviting the three of us to the wedding. We were so excited, but Lucas was the happiest I believe; it had been a few years since we last saw Josh and had never met his future bride.
How he had missed his big brother. Joshua was his idol who he admired in so many ways. I remember thinking at the time how happy Lucas was for his older brother to be back in his life. This was the most positive event for us in a very long time. However, I say with great sadness that Josh contacted us again shortly afterward to cancel the invitation.
Lucas was forever changed by that decision, deeply scarred. A hardness settled in his heart closing a door that I believe still remains. I cannot say how Josh was able to justify his decision and I wonder if he was ever aware of the deep felt pain it caused his brother Lucas. There was no explanation, no understanding for this change of heart and so there was no way to adequately recover. The dynamics of our family changed forever that day and we have yet to find our way back.
You cannot have a relationship if the other person is not willing to meet half way. Therefore it was with a heavy heart I had to concede and ultimately walk away from a fight I could not win. I had to accept I may never understand their reasons, that I may never again hold my children, never meet my grandchildren and never know what made them hate me so much.
That is their story and perhaps they will one day tell it. For now it is the tale of repercussions. It is hard to find peace when you cannot reconcile your past, but they have made it clear this is not something they wish to do. And so I wait…