Steadfast Kind 1990
I was given a lop eared bunny for my birthday. What a treasure she was! We were fast friends and I often spent time holding her, especially when I was sad. She loved to be held upside down in my arms and would fall asleep that way, snoring aloud as her little mouth fell open, her big teeth sticking out. There was such trust between us she allowed me to hold her this way.
Some years later we made a big move across two provinces and could not bring little Fudge with us until we could get settled. We made plans to leave her with a neighbour, providing all the instructions to make this a relatively painless transition. Fudge had a litter of babies a few years before and unfortunately all were stillborn. She was very distraught and didn’t cope well with the loss.
I came up with the idea to give her a stuffed animal to look after, hoping her mothering instinct would find its purpose. She took to it immediately, carrying the little stuffed bear from one room in her hutch to another, never letting it out of her sight for long. She got over her depression and returned to her normal self.
When we left her with this family, we explained the importance of this bear which they took to heart and assured us they would be kept together. As we said goodbye I was astonished to see Fudge was crying, tears running down her little face. She was calmly lying in this other woman’s arms, but she was indeed crying. It was very difficult to say good-by, having to let go once again and place my trust in another’s ability to care for one of my treasures. Sometimes we are faced with making decisions without perfect solutions, and I realized I had to trust that Fudge was in good hands and we would get her back soon.
Four months later, and the week before returning for our belongings, beloved Fudge came to me in a dream. It was so real, as if she was right there with me and I was excited she knew we were coming for her. But alas, the day before the trip we phoned the family looking after her and received the bad news that Fudge had passed away. In fact she died the day I dreamt of her. Her spirit had come to say good-bye.
How quickly joy can turn to sorrow. My heart was heavy with the loss when they explained the bear had been misplaced while Fudge played outside on the lawn, because their dog had taken it. Fudge, missing her baby, stopped eating and drinking and by the time they noticed the bear was missing it was too late. The family felt very bad for what happened. They had cared for her, doing their best to respect her needs and our wishes. It was an unfortunate situation and always I will be grateful for their willingness to take Fudge because I don’t know what we would have done otherwise. It is the good memories that must be remembered.
I was told recently from someone looking at my Rabbit image they saw sadness in the eye and I wondered if there was something of my childhood in that drawing coming through. There again, I was finding an inner connection with the animal I was working on, creating a visual representation of what I was feeling as I allowed myself to connect.
Rabbits are often associated with fear as they are hunted by many. The other side of their personality in my experience portrays them as social creatures, very connected to their family, often showing gentleness and affection, although one must not underestimate the strength in those back feet, able to disembowel an opponent when threatened.
So there are many sides to the rabbit and so much to be appreciated about them. I found it rather easy to relate to this animal, its many traits similar to mine, so perhaps this is why I was able to become so close to Fudge. We are one of a kind.
Always we must respect those we love.
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