Finding Home, Chapter 3; Death of Hawk

Death of Hawk May 11, 2008
Saying the final goodbye to an old friend is never an easy thing to do. When it is your beloved dog, it is no different than saying goodbye to one of your children.
On April 25th we had to put our beautiful Hawk down. Patrick had gone home for lunch to check on him and Hawk just kept howling and calling out. He phoned me at work to decide what to do.
We felt it was Hawk’s way of telling us it was time, he must have been in a lot of pain. We called Lucas to meet at the vet at 2pm that day. Together in the parking lot we carried Hawk in, laid him on the table and we then had to leave the room while the vet made his preparations, waiting to be called back in to say our good-bye.
It happened so fast we almost missed it. They had given him a sedative and while the vet was struggling with the needle at the ready, Hawk reached up to Patrick who was standing next to him, touching him on the nose, and then he collapsed. He was gone.
Such an emotional moment! We left with his still warm body and stood in the parking lot holding each other, crying. Hawk was Lucas’ best friend, Patrick his master, and I was the one he came to when he was frightened or in trouble. He made us laugh ‘til we cried and sometimes he made us so angry we wanted to disown him, but he was the most amazing soul with such a loving heart and a big personality.
Lucas had to go back to work, leaving in tears, so Patrick and I took Hawk’s body up to the hill on the trail where he ran with us almost every day. He loved this spot and we knew he would be happy under the tree where he always lay while we had a moment of quiet reflection. It was a piece of wild country while still being in the city, precious to the three of us.
We laid him down on his blanket under a tree, not wanting to bury him knowing he would hate to be confined in a so small space. He loved the freedom and was an explorer at heart, and he really did not like to follow rules. Saying a prayer for his safe keeping and a peaceful journey, we apologized for the angry moments and thanked him for his big heart and gentle spirit, and for all the laughter he gave us. He truly was a beautiful and unusual soul and I know we will never be able to replace him, nor will we try.
Mother’s Day, May 11, would have been his 15th birthday. We decided to take a walk to his resting spot to say hello. I was quite nervous because I had visions of his body in decay which I really did not want to see. When we got close we could see some of his white fur looking like a mound of snow not yet melted.
I sent Patrick ahead because I would not have gone any closer if it was bad. When he got to his body he called me over with a strange look on his face. It was truly amazing because Hawk was just as we left him. His body perfectly intact, his eyes still wet, half open as if he had just fallen asleep.
Nothing had touched him out here in the wild. No dog, coyote, bird of prey, a mouse, nothing, not even an insect. To this day I marvel at that incredible experience. What a special soul he was to have been given this gift to sit on his hill and be free, truly free for those two weeks. He had been everywhere with us on our amazing journey. We stayed for awhile, saying our prayers of thanks, enjoying one last time in his presence. The next time we went to see him, there was nothing left, nature had finally taken it’s course and Hawk was on his way.