Reconciliation
Terry, my adoptive sister came to me in a dream long before I began keeping a journal of my dream activity. I was surprised by this visit from her because we were never close, rather the opposite actually.
In this dream which happened two years after her passing, she came to let me know that she was fine. For some reason she wanted to help me understand she was happy and doing well. She looked really good, peaceful and content. This was quite out of character for her in my mind as she never really confided in me for anything while she was alive. Now there was a calmness around her I had never seen while she was living. But despite any feelings of discomfort we shared over the years, I was genuinely pleased she was able to pass this message to me.
Because I did not spend time with her during her last months when she was bedridden at home or the months prior to that, I really didn’t feel we were connected on any level. I did go to see her two days before she died, to sit with her and reconcile our differences. We didn’t speak as she was unable to make conversation, so I sat quietly, trying to love her, to forgive her for all the anger she threw at me over the years. At one point she put her hand on my arm and we stayed like that in quiet comfort until I had to leave for home.
I remember thinking while I may not have been able to love her, I did not hate her nor did I hold any anger towards her. Is that a form of forgiveness, to let go of the anger towards someone who made you feel so small and unwanted?
Perhaps it was just a step that broke through the clouds hovering between us, allowing a ray of sunshine to enter the space between. I wondered, upon hearing she had passed so soon after our visit, if the time we spent that afternoon allowed her to let go and be free of the pain and fear holding her here.
What had she been thinking that day she held my arm? Was she able to see something in me that allowed her to finally let go of her resentment and anger at just my presence in her world? I believe so. Perhaps this one act of recognition allowed her to reach through the veil those few years later to let me know this was true.
We are not able to take our worldly possessions with us when we leave this earthly plane, but this gift I can take with me as I continue on my journey from this life to the next. Perhaps we will meet again and have a friendship born of late understanding, two victims of a crime neither of us understood.
0 Comments