Carlos
I loved this mans face from the moment I saw him. There is so much expression in his pose it drew me into his world and stirred my imagination. I could not help but wonder about where he was lost in thought. The lines on his face tell a story of living in the elements, of laughter, worry and concern. I saw a sadness in his eyes and wondered at its source. But I also felt peace in his aura, showing no regret.
During the visit of one of our Ecuadorian friends we spent time looking through the pictures from their home; their families, friends and the land where they live and work as a community. Carlos is the father of one of the young men staying in our home. The moment I saw this picture I asked for his permission to draw his fathers face. Even while I asked, I could not be sure I had the skill to do the image justice. I had really only drawn animal faces and this was going to be a whole new challenge. But I had to try, it was an important step for me and if I could pull it off, this would be a strong link for me to an area close to the home of my birth.
Rather than black and white, I decided to challenge myself even more by experimenting with pastels to see if I could get the skin tones right. I had tried this once many years before, but with coloured pencils and it was not successful. I was quite nervous because I do not like to make mistakes and this project was opening a door that could potentially be a total failure. Taking it slow I made sure to walk away often. This is the best way for me to keep my perspective, especially when I am struggling with something new.
It’s a mix of joy and fear all wrapped up into one experience when I draw because, while I love what I do, I’m also afraid to take a chance, facing the real possibility I lack the skill. In the end my love of the work wins and I proceed, hoping for the best. Always the eyes bring me back when I have doubts about finishing. Of course my curiosity plays a big factor as well. I have to keep trying, not giving up on myself, to prove I am capable of finishing the image to my satisfaction.
I was very pleased I was able to finish the image and was happy with the result. I keep a small print of Carlos in my bedroom as a constant reminder of a land I consider connected to my father.
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