The Year 2000
This was quite the year for information coming from behind the locked door inside my mind. Unfortunately, I had great difficulty processing the information because I had no idea who the people in my dreams were.
I would say the dream I had on November 14, 1999 marks the beginning of understanding my birth parents were unable to raise me. I realized for a long time this was the truth, but the dream of getting shot and dying only to be reborn again was the beginning of actually remembering my parents.*
This was the second time I had gone through a death experience in my dreams, two years apart. There was a difference this time, more of a feeling than actually my death. It was only last year I learned that bullets pierced my fathers lungs, so now I see that perhaps I was being given another clue to his identity, though this information was lost on me at the time.
It was in the year 2000, the turn of the century marking the time when so many dreams began to show me an actual story that explained abandonment, politics, and love lost. There would be many dreams throughout the years, but the ones in this journal are the most significant, because they drew my attention to an alternate reality I had safely hidden away’. The information began to surface this year and continued for the next few years.
This new century opened with us a family of just three: Lucas, Patrick, and myself. The three older children had made the choice to be with those they felt would give them more stability, letting go of us remaining a family. I had hoped they would have more desire to stay in touch, but they seemed content to walk away and leave us three behind. We each gave it an honest try for the first year, but holding on to them was like squeezing a handful of sand.
*see Dream about Being Shot, Chapter IV, page 47
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