Airport Good-bye June 20, 2002
This is one of the dreams to which I have a very strong connection. I think of it often and wonder about what was happening as I stood there with my mother, and how it affected me for the rest of my life. I had mixed emotions from remembering this moment from my past. While I was enjoying the aspect of the dream which brought my mother to me, I also was very much aware of the fact that we would be separated, likely never seeing each other again. This is a hard concept for one so young to accept or understand.
This morning I had a dream where I watched myself as a little girl of two. We were on asphalt at the airport. There was a silver plane in the background and I had the feeling I was getting on that plane.
My mother was on one knee in front of me. We were both dressed up, she wearing a dress that was white with black trim, and a pillbox hat like Jackie Kennedy wore. I remember when I woke up this woman really reminded me of her, not just because of her style and clothes, but her hair, physique and general overall appearance.
I had on a white dress with a sweater, white with pale yellow on the front, and a bonnet. It was the bonnet that suggested my age. My left hand was beside my mouth and I looked uncertain, perhaps scared. My mother had her hands on my shoulders and then she leaned forward and kissed me on the cheek. She then gave me a small hug, told me good-bye and said she loved me. This is all I remember.
Given the circumstances of my relationship with my birth mother, which would have been almost non-existent, I now wonder if this good-by was one of several, the way I was transported to and from the different places I remember being. I can only speculate because the memories are so few.
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