Spirit Husband August 11, 2002
When I had this dream I was uncomfortable telling Patrick about it, thinking he would see it as competitive in nature. However, he recently explained he never considered it a threat in any way, that it was just something to help me on my journey.
I was fascinated to realize the discomfort was mine alone, based on my life in a world where trust was rare. While on some levels I was not able to trust, I managed to allow a closeness to develop between myself, Patrick and my children. Always there was a wall between us, however, based on my fear of losing them. I have discovered that through harbouring fear loss becomes inevitable.
In this dream I found myself living with a family of natives. I can’t say for sure where they were from, but I was spending my time with them, learning from them. Most of my time was spent with the woman who was the Elder.
I was sitting against the wall of their home, watching her in conversation with a young man who seemed very determined to prove himself to her. He was telling her he was ready for the task with which she needed help. She was ignoring him or so it seemed, paying special attention to a bulb she held in her hand. The bulb reminded me of garlic except the pieces came away from the centre at odd angles and were quite small.
She had broken a piece off and seemed to be studying it intensely, deciding it met with her approval. The young boy was saying he had nurtured this bulb since he was three and he knew he was ready, if only I she would accept him.
While sitting against the wall at a distance it was then I realized I was an adult. At the same time I was standing right behind him, able to hear everything he was saying, but as a child. They had come to an understanding although I had no idea what plans they made.
As I watched this exchange I realized the young man was being very careful not to let me see his face. I seemed to understand it was me who had chosen him for the task, but when and how, I cannot say.
It was determined through this discussion with the Elder he would be my spirit husband. We would be bound together as no earthly person could, and it would be his responsibility to provide comfort and protection as I struggled on the difficult path ahead of me. She wanted him to realize how important his task was; I would have great need for his strength to help me bear the weight.
The next thing I remember happening was watching a herd of horses run by. The were unusual because of their colouring, they were ‘spirit horses,’ painted like carousel ponies. They were all sorts of bright colours: pink, purple, and red. Somehow they had gold embossed on their manes of white, black and brown. My eye caught one with a purple design on its chest and a red design on its flank. She was beautiful and I said so as I stood watching. The Elder told me she was my horse.
I don’t remember my reaction or what happened to the horses, but it seemed it was time to go. I remember I was sitting in the back of a wagon. We were travelling up a mountainous, winding dirt road. The going was very slow but I was enjoying the view. I looked over my right shoulder to the wagon and saw a woman sitting on the front seat with her back to me.
Facing me, perched on the back of the front seat behind this woman was a bald eagle. It was watching me, I could feel the intensity of it’s gaze and it was then I came to realize I was seeing myself. I was the woman sitting in front of the eagle and the eagle was my spirit husband. I was a small child watching myself as an adult, as though I was seeing my future. My spirit husband would be here for me in the spirit form of the eagle, so I would always have a reminder of his presence.
This dream was very touching, leaving me very calm with a feeling that comes with knowing I do indeed have a spirit guide (husband) who has helped me find my way down this path. More than once I have felt his presence when I thought I could not keep going. The poem Footprints comes to mind.
0 Comments