Execution for Betrayal February 20, 2003
Though I could not make sense of or comprehend it at the time, knowing what I now know this dream has great significance. It is more than amazing to be looking back through these journals so many years on and see the breadcrumbs leading me where I am today.
It would be difficult to expect anyone to believe in this story. I have actually lived it and still have moments that give me pause. What I have come to understand over time is that whether someone else believes is not as important as myself accepting what I went through. Either way, I feel this is a story which can benefit others. We all have been through difficult times. How we choose to deal with each situation is what is important. Our choices define us.
I know I will have trouble properly describing this dream because it was so detailed and involved, and I do not have the skill to do it justice. However, there is enough on the page to describe the event and hopefully express its significance. The rest is in my heart.
I believe it was a memory, but experienced in the context of a dream or vision, because once again it was in black and white. Perhaps another memory from being in The Chair? I saw it through my eyes as if I was there. Secondly, when I woke up the back of my head was buzzing, especially in the spot where I have been having trouble recently, first with swelling and then peeling of the skin. [explained in another journal entry elsewhere.]* This portion of my head was buzzing electric for about five minutes upon waking.
The dream took place in the late 50s or early 60s judging by the cars and style of the clothes. I was watching as a man who appeared to be a peasant, who looked Spanish (Mexican), shot another man, execution style. I was holding a woman’s hand who I presume was my mother or someone I was very close to. It was clear the man who was shot was a traitor, involved with something having to do with the President of the United States. At this point I did not feel I could properly describe what was going on as it seemed too complicated to write down. Another confusing thing to me was I had to be a witness to this.
The second part of the dream was about a different man who was in some way connected with the man who had been shot. The strange thing about this was the man had computers, which looked very much like the laptop computers in use today. Of course back then computers weren’t commonplace or portable, so I’m not sure why he had such a modern looking device. Also, when he was discovered he had several boxes of files he was trying to hide, unsuccessfully as it turned out.
At the time I wondered if the man who was shot was my birth father, but now I believe he was the one shooting. As I piece together the fragments of my story this makes more sense to me now than it did back then.
*see Red Planet Dream, chapter VIII
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