S.A. Bird spider…again August 27, 2008
My old friend the spider came to visit once again. This is obviously a spider that does not want me to forget.
A very long, involved and strange dream. Again many details were lost when I woke up probably because of the emotions it evoked. It was like some kind of spy movie I seemed to be part of. There was a plot to kill a couple who were considered to be traitors. I was actually hoping to stop the murders from happening, but was unsuccessful. I am unclear as to what role I played or why I was there. I am wondering who these people were and why I needed to see what happened. Was this my minds way of remembering more deaths I was made to watch?
The woman died in a car crash, the man in the car with her was able to walk away, although he was dazed. There was another man, the one that caused the accident. He approached the man that got out of the car, and without hesitation, fired his gun killing him. He then gave himself an injury to make it look as though he was also a victim. This all took place in front of the house where we were living, and it seemed my son Lucas was close to becoming a victim also, although I cannot remember why. This all took place somewhere that had a warmer climate, which I understood because the houses were not like those in Canada.
Afterwards I was in the kitchen and a hat belonging to one of the men was on our table. As I looked at it, the hat moved on it’s own which made me curious. I lifted the brim which allowed what was underneath to get out. This made me panic when I saw there were spiders under the hat. They kind of unfolded from a strange position and when they did I recognized what kind they were, the South American bird spider. The same spider that caused the scar on my face when I was a child.
I was really panicking, recalling that experience. I was yelling for Patrick to come, he had to get rid of them. I don’t know where Patrick was, but he came into the room and seeing the source of my distress, he picked up the female (mother) spider in his hand ready to take it outside. It did not seem like enough for him to just remove the spider, my belief strong it would just come right back in. The fear and the panic were so strong, everything I felt as a child just came flooding back. So much fear.
I am continually amazed at the level of distress I still feel each time I am faced with this spider. It occurs to me each time I dream of a spider it is this same species, which leads me to believe there is great relevance attached. There must also be importance connected to the era of the people in the dream. A connection to that period of time when I would have been a young child. I say this because of the symbolic mention of the hats on the table. The only kind of hats you see today on North American men are baseball caps, and these were not that style of hat.
I can’t imagine what would happen if I ever see this spider in real life again. Perhaps that would be the cure, but it is hard in these moments to imagine ever getting over this overwhelming fear.
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