Synchronicity is such a beautiful thing, when it happens one knows they are walking as they should. Yesterday my new birth certificate arrived identifying me as Gabriel Kacie Guevara. Seeing it in print as a legitimate birth certificate brought tears to my eyes once more – erased are all the previous names I no longer wish to be associated with. Of course to receive it on the 13th is special as well, a number associated with my connection to the Grandmothers, their gift to me on this day then to receive this verification.
While having my coffee and thinking about this significant change, there was realization about owning my name once more. It is rather a bold step to legalize what cannot be proven. This has taken a certain amount of courage on my part, knowing there is a degree of risk in doing so. Not getting to Argentina as planned in January also was on my mind. There was great disappointment about my inability to go as planned, however this morning it occurred to me, it is necessary to go as Gabriel Guevara. Knowing such important junctures are redirected for specific reasons, there was respect at the time of the necessity to let it go. I will once more begin to make plans for this monumental return home, proudly carrying my passport identifying me as Gabriel Guevara.
This morning, not wishing to waste any time, I went to do the name change on my drivers license which will then allow me to change every other legal document. I always enjoy listening to music as I walk anywhere, so this morning was no different as I walked at a vigorous pace, eager to get this ball rolling. Leaving one earbud in my left ear, music still playing,I began to sign all the necessary documents to change my name on my drivers license.
With the first pen stroke of the last signature, something rather beautiful happened – a serendipitous moment if ever there was one. The song I consider to belong to me and my father began playing for me as the flow of my handwriting continued. “A Summer Place”, the one song for many years which was considered by me to be the most perfect piece of music, long before realizing why. Listening to this song has from the first moment heard, always brought joy to my heart. Not until Ecuador did this make sense to me as on one particular morning while transcribing notes for my book, this song came on. All of sudden it was like a movie began to play in my mind – the memory of my tiny bare feet on top of papa’s big black boots, my small hands held by his, as we swayed to “A Summer Place”. This brought clarity at last as to the songs importance. Really, just an incredible moment in time for me. With nothing tangible from my past to hold onto and ground me, such a gift means more than words can describe.
It would be wrong to say there have not been doubts about making this important change to my identity, so to hear this beautiful piece of music as I signed my new legal name, brought tears to my eyes once more, the importance of the moment not lost on me. Papa always has found a way to let me know he walks with me, his guidance instrumental on this long and often confusing, difficult journey. I stand here today knowing anything is possible – what seems unattainable can be brought to fruition. My story is proof that if we do not give up, we can fulfill our dream, maybe not exactly in the way we planned, but we can get there! I’m still on route to accomplish mine and perhaps that’s the point, our dream is a moving object which asks us to make changes as we continue to progress.
Today I claim my birthright, no longer the forgotten daughter of Che Guevara. I am present. I am not invisible any longer.
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