I returned just over a week ago now. I have found myself on an emotional rollercoaster, feeling both the loss of what was left behind as I dip into the valleys, then the joy and gratitude of being with such good people here as I ride the top of the wave.
I could not have asked for a better situation than I am in. So many have helped me return, paying for my plane ticket and hotel expenses. Without them I would not have made it here, their generosity going well beyond my capability to understand, as I have not experienced this in my lifetime.
I am staying with such a gracious lady who took me into her home for these two weeks of isolation. Another friend drove from Saskatoon to Calgary to pick me up and bring me back to Maple Creek. She also left me a treasure box, yet to be opened as it was for a day I was lost in boredom. Another dear friend has been making meals for me and the woman whose company I have been sharing. Many have donated cash to help me get started again, the list goes on. How does one begin to say thank you for these many blessings?
It is indeed the most amazing experience to be here safe and secure, something not felt too often in my life. The complete picture is one displaying the best off humanity which leaves me with the impression I have begun a new circle. My life began with the beauty shown to me now, so as I pay my karmic debt, I return once more to the beginning. There can be no greater reward, although it is difficult to accept I have earned my place.
As the story below explains, written while the experience was filling my soul, you also will perhaps enjoy the great depths of my gratitude today. There will never be another day like August 10, 2020. There will never be another day like today and I will never be able to fully explain the beauty of all that has happened this past week.
This post is dedicated to those who showed such kindness and generosity to this refugee. We never expect to find ourselves in need of so much help, However we cannot necessarily fathom the beauty of humanity until we do find ourselves here. Life’s gifts come in many shapes and sizes, teaching us well beyond what we felt we needed to learn.
August 10, 2020
I am at the airport in Quito, a long wait for my 2:00am departure back to Canada. The lights of the city are sparkling in the distance as I look out the widow on the other side of the building. I arrived in Ecuador at night and will leave at night and I find that an interesting fact. Not sure why it seems significant, but it does. Maybe it is because arriving in the dark was symbolic of my need to find answers to a complicated past. Also there is the idea I had no idea what to expect, what I would discover and how it would benefit my search. Everything was just a possibility and I was waiting for guidance.
The flip side is me coming out of the darkness arriving into the brightness of the day. I have glimpses of something special, something important to my quest for answers, but it is the fleeting light that passes by on your peripheral vision. When you turn to look at it, it disappears as if a mirage.
Sitting here, I find myself adjusting to the very big change I have accepted into my life, a new chapter. Not only am I leaving Ecuador, I am leaving without my best friend. I also leave behind good friends, many tears between us and I have to be so grateful for the knowledge I will have open arms to return to if and when I can. What an amazing gift this journey has been – I marvel at the the opportunity I was given to find myself and return with more awareness than I left with 2 years ago. Can’t say that I don’t have more growth to experience, but I have a clear understanding of what I don’t want. I leave behind that part of myself which allowed others to so thoroughly take advantage of me. The child in me is growing up at last.
My worldly possessions stand beside me, my life now defined by a more nomadic lifestyle. The idea of collecting objects with meaning and attachment seems kind of silly as I keep giving away so much of what I just acquired. Charles was happy to take my leftover food and all the dishes I purchased along the way. They will be brought to family who is very poor, has very little, so I am grateful for his desire to do so. A borrowed fridge returned, and many art and bead supplies shared with those I met. Really all I bring back with me are small gifts, clothes and a beautiful experience which I hope to be able to share somehow.
I have learned that those we meet are the most important part of our journey. More a collection of emotions and feelings, good and bad rather than objects. My heart is full, enough so I am able to leave part of it here in Ecuador, returning with enough to share and grow as I continue to follow this path.
where will this new chapter of my life take me, what doors will open allowing me to grow and change? I sit in peaceful contemplation as I wait……..