It has taken me quite some time as you can see by the date this was first written, to put this story together in my mind. So many unusual things have been happening during the weeks following both the eclipse, then the Strawberry Moon which I am now writing about, so it has been difficult. The decision was made to wait and watch how certain things were developing to have more clarity about my personal journey and the turns it began taking. As my focus becomes more directed, the sharing of certain very personal occurrences becomes easier to share in this way. We are all on a very intricate and delicate ride, much more so than many may realize. Each of us, if we pay close attention to certain signals and moments which do not at first make sense, we will all see our journeys are in fact similar. My story just has an added flare of mystery, made more interesting in some respects simply because of the characters in my personal play. For me, I see the importance of my story being inter-twined with my parents, their stories individually, as a couple, their roles in history and therefore why I had to remain a secret. The question for me, is what if anything, does it mean to you? It is my intention by sharing my experiences to help others look for such gifts in their own lives as we all have the ability to connect with Spirit in this way. It is a choice.
Written June 15th, 2022
Experienced June 14th, 2022
Yesterday was my fathers birthday, he would have been 94 years old had he lived to see it come round again. Oh how I wish he had, how I wish so much more of his life could have been available to me, rather than just snippets which cannot even be proven. But those snippets are there for me to hang onto and I certainly do!
After a long day, then an enjoyable conversation with my friend, I prepared for bed. During our phone conversation, I began to feel the knife wound in my heart begin to throb. The pain was gentle yet intense, so a bit distracting. In the back of my mind there was a part of me wondering at the timing. Not until a few days later did I realized it had happened on my fathers birthday. It had been the full moon which I felt connected the reminder of such an important part of my journey – now I see it was both reasons which amplified the pain forcing me to pay attention.
Days which led to years following “The Awakening” experience, meant the pain in my heart where the wound occurred, was almost continuous. This was something I learned to accept and live with, although there were many times it was quite debilitating. Of late it happens only for specific reasons, such as this particular full moon landing on my fathers birthday. This distinction has value if one looks at the amount of information which began coming to me during those first years learning my birth family was not the family which raised me. To me this is clear indication the Grandmothers are speaking to me when this happens, there is no doubt in my mind!
To further confirm the importance of this day, I had the pleasure of watching my beautiful friend and spirit companion Sapphire circling the skies in front of the window where I sat. This type of visit is rare now that I live in town, so something I truly appreciate when it occurs. Then again, perhaps as with the obviously selective times when the heart pain occurs, Sapphire’s visits now also have more obvious or specific reasons attached to them.
As I began my healing meditation which has been the routine of cleansing negative energy collected throughout the day especially when at work, there was significant focus on my left knee where there had been a recent injury. The heart pain had dissipated, although the significance remained as I began my prayers. It was during this time of prayer with my eyes closed, concentrating on the energy flowing through my body, one of the grandmothers faces filtered through the darkness of my closed eyes, a filament of smoke mixed with subdued light surrounding her face as she spoke to me. I could see her mouthing words but could not hear her speak, then she faded away Such a brief visit – I longed for more! The timing, the connection to the other signals, could not be ignored.
Upon waking there was the familiar feeling a long conversation with someone was had during my sleep. This has not happened for awhile, which explains why there have been so few entries on my blog of late. This conversation left me with the feeling we have come to a crossroads in North America which will require us to decide do we wish to follow the path of higher meaning? or be stuck in an endless cycle of punishment/reward dependency? I know which path I choose, how about you? The conversation which I relayed in my personal journal was much more specific than my summary just given, but it feels as though this should be something kept to myself for now. So much of my story is difficult to explain, the connections to such important political figures not at all easy to accept or believe. Yet there is understanding for me which sits in the pit of my stomach, stirred by certain relevant events happening today. How does one explain the “knowing” without sounding loopy?
Days later another experience occurred which found me once again in the Spirit realm. There was a sense of being in “nothingness” surrounded by complete darkness, almost as if suspended in space – the quiet was as complete as the black envelope I found myself in. Upon arriving in this space, a hummingbird flew up to me, the sound of it wings seemed to echo in this void. Larger than life and brilliant of color, reminding me of a solar light fixture with its changing inner light. Starting at its head which was a brilliant yellow, the colors began altering on its body to complete the rainbow. There was no definition, although its eye was very obvious as it stared at me – through me. It’s long beak, which was at once pointing at me, then becoming part of me, was also something which stood out as a stark contrast to the brightness of the changing colors. Going from being large enough to fill a room to then being just a speck of light, my experience seemed to last for many minutes, yet be over in the flash of a second or two. But this is the hummingbird isn’t it? This is who I am…….this is who we all are!
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