October 21, This is the day I grew up believing was my birthday. It seems fitting then that on October 21, 2023 to be given such an amazing present while visiting Bolivia, which could only have come by the guidance of papa.
The Tree of Life, the gift given me from papa from the “Spirit Realm” on November 23, 1997. This was the day he came to me in a vision to remind me of my place in the world. Until this time, I was content with my ignorance believing I was the lost soul I grew up to be. After all who else could I be?
My story “The Awakening” (November 23, 1997) explains the turning point in my life which eventually led me to Bolivia where I physically received the necklace pictured.
Would this young family (explained below) have found more meaning in their stopping me that day to make the purchase had they known I was the daughter of Che Guevara?
Would the experience meant more to me had I thought to tell them?
Told this young man how it was his looks reminding me of papa that made me stop?
That the necklace represented papa’s gift to me so many years ago?
That it was my (false) birthday?
If only I’d thought to have a picture taken and explain how meaningful the necklace was. But I was in fight or flight from the moment I turned the corner and saw so many street vendors looking to make a sale. I knew I could not help them all and would not be able to decide who to buy from.
Having made the very emotional journey only the day before to where papa was executed, this moment in time seemed too incredible to digest. And indeed it was several hours later in the quiet of my room, before the significance of the necklace and how it came to me, sunk in. I could laugh now thinking about how I did not like it at the time I bought it, that it was not something I would have been interested in. There again it was the result of being in fight or flight, preventing me from registering what it was at the time. The brain becomes very focused like a needle going through fabric, with getting to the other side of what is perceived as danger as quickly as possible. There is no room for such beauty to be recognized, although often it is retrieved at a later time when the mind can relax once more. The importance not lost , just pushed to the side.
Trust or fear – we have to choose. This is the choice I make every day in some capacity, in varying degrees of difficulty. I’ve learned to repeat it as a mantra to first of all pull me out of fight or flight and to prevent the unmistakable slip into hate thoughts which stem from the fear. It has become a powerful ally.
Excerpt from my journal entries – Bolivia:
…….Walking the streets, on my way to having my meal for the day, I passed those selling their wares on the sidewalk hoping for food money. Maybe it is deception, but my feeling is, it is a truth we normally turn away from. I was successful in passing several without spending any money, keeping my eyes away from theirs as I know I cannot help as many as need it. One young man would not let me get by so easily. He had shoulder length wavy brown hair, soft brown eyes reminding me of papa and spoke some English, there was desperation in his voice so I could not turn away once I looked into his eyes. He was quietly pleading with me to help him by buying one of his creations. Despite my own discomfort about not having enough and because I have known some desperation myself there was no way I could turn him down. The first choice of his which he showed me, was what I bought. He asked for $200Bs which is about $30.00 US. His wife, holding their small baby, grabbed his arm when she thought I would say no and told him for me it would be $100Bs. I said no I will give you the $200Bs and accepted the necklace which was the tree of life with an agate stone for the trunk. This brought back the memory of my first dream about papa when he gave me the tree of life after stabbing me in the heart with the crystal needle in order to open my heart to the past and my memories. Could there have been anything more appropriate on this day, following my experience yesterday? …….
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