Spider dream February 4, 1999
It would be a few years before I would understand the source of my fear of spiders. This dream reminded me of something in my past I was hoping to never remember.
As these memories started to return I also realized the importance of recalling, allowing the pain to come out of my locked room and find it’s place—a part of my shattered spirit. In this way my spirit is mended, allowed to heal and bring me peace with the understanding attached to the memories. This was something I could not know until the reality of my memories began to surface.
Today as I write about all that I do recall I see the beauty of allowing the past to come back to me, despite the pain it carries. Remembering has allowed me to have my parents back and the genuine love they had for me. It is allowing me to breathe as I accept the truth. This dream was a nudge in the direction I was needing to go, something to be grateful for.
Patrick and I were talking. He was beside the bed, sitting on the floor and I was laying down on the bed. Something caught his eye and he pointed to the ceiling to show me what was there. From a knot in the wood a very large spider was crawling. It scurried across the ceiling to the opposite wall, making a strange clanking noise as it moved.
I was worried and quite scared, not knowing if it was poisonous. It came towards me, dropping down, dangling a thread as it moved, landing on my left ear. I was shaking from fear but did not want to move, nor did I want to kill it. I had to fight the urge to swat it because it was tickling my ear. I just lay there waiting for it to go.
It then began to crawl around on my head, driving me crazy. It then climbed back up its silk thread above my head. I could see it’s shadow on the wall beside me as it left. I was quite frightened when I woke up. It felt so real and I have such a strong fear of spiders. But I realized everything was fine, it was just a dream and there was no harm done.
While I was in the dream, I felt as though I was awake, such was the power of the message. What a wonderful gift it is to dream, such a gentle and subtle way to remember things we feel better left forgotten.
0 Comments