Dream of Being Chased April 15, 2000
In this dream I understood that someone was after me, but I do not who or why. I was with Patrick and some other people, one a young girl. She reminded me of my young niece when she was about five. It was the blonde hair and blue eyes that made me think of her, but then it could easily have been me at that age. At some point though, this girl and I ended up on our own and I remember feeling very unsettled, fear hanging over my shoulder, but not able to understand why.
For some reason I had to leave and go back to wherever it was we had come from, carrying the girl in my arms. Our path led us through a short tunnel used by pedestrians and vehicles. Entering it made me very uncomfortable for some reason. As soon as I got this uneasy feeling a car entered the tunnel followed by a red truck, both coming towards us. I remember the truck especially, an older model, kind of square in shape. Both vehicles stopped and then shut off their lights. I couldn’t see anything with the sudden darkness, but I heard a shot and fear made me turn and run. I’m not sure what happened, but suddenly I was back at our car and crouching in front of it to hide.
It was strange because at this point it felt as if I was awake but still watching what was happening. This is how I realized the girl had been shot in the head. I continued to hold her and just stayed where I was, afraid to move. I must have awakened at this point because I don’t remember anything else, but I fell immediately into a different, totally unrelated dream.
Who was the young girl, and why was she shot? As I think about it, it became apparent the girl was the target, not me. I was afraid for her safety as she was under my protection. At the time of the dream I did wonder if I was the girl, and I was actually protecting myself. I wondered also if this scenario was a distinct possibility if I had not been brought to Canada, would I have been killed in this way had my identity not been changed?
The experiences I endured including rape, abuse and torture were the alternative to death. Many times in this life it seemed to me dying would have been a better choice— free of the sorrow and inner loneliness that was my life. Without answers in some ways I have been slowly dying since the age of two, a painful process. The ghosts are many and it is hard to fight or resolve what you cannot see.
In the next dream I was in someone’s back yard in Creston where we lived. There was not much I remember about the dream except the fact there were five totem poles in this yard. Four of the poles were standing, but one was leaning over, not quite on the ground.
According to my dream book, totem poles tell your history. Unfortunately, I could not see the carvings on the poles, they were just a blur to me as if I was too far away to see the detail. The poles were in the yard of someone I did not trust, so it made me wonder once I was awake if there is a person who knows my history, but it is not someone I can trust. This relates to a recent experience around the time of this dream; my visit to the LDS Church and the sealed SIS file holding the Phyper’s family history.
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