There have been many on my healing journey who have made a significant difference in my life. All too often our path is not an easy one, but those who mysteriously drop into our lives can make such a difference and sometimes we are not given the opportunity to express our thanks. This post is dedicated to the many who have touched my heart, touched my life, made me look at myself differently and helped me put one foot in front of the other.
One has to ask why when certain things happen, the timing of which makes us give pause. Curiosity peaked, we stand back and look for the reasons, although we may never learn the why of some things. I have been very fortunate to have many wonderful experiences, meeting people I most likely will never see again, yet somehow they leave a lasting signature.
Once, while living in Prince Albert, Saskatchewan, I was walking downtown from my home, just minding my own business, lost in my own thoughts. From behind me a woman intentionally caught up to me, walking beside me. I did not know her, have never seen her since, but to this day I wonder about this encounter. She began to tell me about some aspect of her life, the details of which are long lost to me, and then we parted ways. This experience was not an isolated one, however it is one which often pops into my mind often as I walk through this life. What was it she saw in me which made her need to talk to me? Was it for my benefit? Or hers? I believe, because it has stuck with me all these years, the benefit was not one or the other, but both. I served a purpose for her during that short period of time, allowing her to share part of her story, and giving me a sense of purpose. Although I cannot remember what she told me now, I believe at the time there was something in her telling which I needed to hear.
Just the other day the local paper printed a story about my Hummingbird Project. On this same day I met 2 people, one of which I will most likely never see again, and one I hope will become a lifelong friend. Well actually they both can be so, thanks to our ability to keep in touch with our electronic devices. I just mean that one was a traveller and will probably not pass this way again, his journey not yet completed enough to settle in one place. The woman, however will most likely visit Maple Creek again, the chances of us seeing each other, greater. But that being said, one never knows, and this is the important thread of this story, and why we must never give up and always remain positive and hopeful as we traverse difficult terrain. One never knows who will walk into our lives on any given day, what their presence, for even a short time will mean, or if it will redirect our path unexpectedly.
The man I met said to me, “I came into your life for a reason”, as we discussed many similar philosophies. However this morning, it occurred to me we missed the idea I came into his life for a reason – it of course is always a mutual benefit, if we choose to see it so.
I am always grateful for the opportunity to speak with like minded people, have the freedom to talk about my life and not fear negative response regarding the most bizarre stories I have to share.
The woman I met came to see me 3 times, had read my story in the paper and I was so gratified to learn it resonated with her, perhaps even inspiring her. I truly hope we stay in touch as it seemed we were on a similar journey, one we could help each other with. For me, I know my story is not just about me, it is a reflection of many who suffer in silence for reasons of their own. I am only sharing mine to show them they are not alone. I am willing to risk humiliation and the controversy which my story may bring to me in order to give someone else the comfort or encouragement they need to face their story. I hope for us all that we can let go of the shame, uncertainty, guilt, sorrow and pain which makes our journey so difficult.
Decisions made in compensation for difficult, maybe even impossible choices are not easy to face as we look back on our life. Could we have made choices which would have been easier to face? It is possible, but it’s not necessary to put ourselves through this, rather we must accept our reasons, find forgiveness and in this way take another step away from the pain or difficulties associated with that time of our life. The purpose of sharing is to promote togetherness in our grief for the decisions leading to this moment in time. Our strength can be unified, even at a distance.
The Hummingbird Project is meant to redirect our focus to something positive. When we help someone else, it gives us purpose, perhaps hope that what what we went through and the understanding we can pass on, giving us some level of acceptance leading away from the pain of it. When we focus on helping someone else, there is comfort. It does not change what happened, but does improve the circumstances of our being in this moment. Anytime we can step away from the pain, we are making progress, we are learning, we are accepting our path and it’s purpose.
I cannot explain so much of my story, there are too many missing pieces, but the realization I do not need to explain, only accept, is what I have come to understand as being the most import aspect of my story. Believing despite my inability to prove it, this is all that matters because at the heart of my story, is Love. A love so pure it could not be destroyed by the hate of others. Therefore, I will continue to share and I hope others will as well.