A few weeks ago, I went to visit some friends who I had not seen for awhile. I was really looking forward to the visit as I truly enjoy their company and the conversations we have…….always stimulating and entertaining. However on this day, the topic of conversation started with the COVID situation, masks and vaccines. I did not learn until about an hour later, they had just got their shots a week or so previous to our visit. I should not have gone to their house, would not have, had I known.
I was surprised at the quick temper, when I made certain comments, and for the first time since knowing this couple, I was uncomfortable in their home. However once we managed to shift the conversation to something more pleasant, I once more began to relax.
Walking home I was uneasy, I felt the kind of sickness in the pit of my stomach when I know something is terribly wrong. I felt so uncomfortable, this kind of heaviness combined with the notion I had been sitting with a dead energy. Now I know that sounds very strange, and unfortunately it is not really something I can explain properly. But as an empath, I do pick up energy from people, something I have not been enjoying lately. Until this visit, I did not realize the vaccine was available in our town, nor that so many had been getting it. Having this information helped me understand the great discomfort I had been feeling when I was out and about over the past few weeks. There is just this emptiness, a feeling like I am walking among zombies.
I was so uncomfortable when I got home, the positive feeling experienced early in my day completely gone, so I phoned another friend to talk about what happened to me. Knowing she would understand, having a similar mindset, yet being quite balanced, I felt she could help me climb out of the hole I had just dropped into. She was able to calm me down, yet she could only agree with me about the energy of the zombies, as she had talked to other empaths who have felt this weird energy.
After our conversation, I made my supper and sat down to try and enjoy my meal. But could not. Half way through my meal I began to have one of the worst panic attacks I have ever experienced. I paced my apartment for at least 3 hours as I tried to come out of it. I felt so warm in my body, I thought I was suffocating. Sitting outside in the cold night air, I did my breathing exercises, praying for help. Despite the cold, I could not feel my body adjust to the temperature. This is not something I have ever experienced, so I prayed for understanding. I cried, feeling the fear which comes from the feelings of suffocation I was experiencing. The pain in my chest was intense as well, yet somehow I kept walking, asking as I did why this was happening.
The answer came, understanding brought clarity and total relaxation as my body began to get back to a more normal condition. Everything happening did not belong to me, it was what I picked up from my visit, the realization allowing me to become calm and centred once more. Like a switch, everything I had been pacing to release disappeared, so completely amazing! This was a truly horrible experience, one I hope never to experience again, yet I fear it may. However, I also realize knowing what triggered the episode will help me guide myself through further encounters. My need for isolation has become more important than ever as, keeping my distance from the many I know here who have or will get the shots. I simply cannot be around them.
I may not know who I encounter during my days at work, who have received the shots, but I definitely feel the energy. Playing the Tibetan bells when I can, or getting outside as often as possible to restructure my energy, pushing away what is unwanted, helps immensely. But there is a constraint pain in my chest, a tightness which I cannot seem to release. I know it’s not mine, but it is around me and at times it overwhelms me. I am so grateful to be able to run again, probably the only aspect of my life which releases most of the pain. But that being said, the masks have taken their toll, my lungs operating at about half capacity. Getting back in shape will be a very slow process. If you do not have to wear a mask very much, but are at home, only wearing it to get groceries or the mail, then I suggest you wear it for 3 days, 8 hours straight and see how you feel by the end of that time. If you think by criticizing us who are forced to wear them, because we speak out against them, while you don’t have to helps somehow, you are terribly mistaken. For those of us who experience panic attacks, anxiety, heart or lung problems, wearing the mask is like being in a coffin as we slowly suffocate, not to mention the germ warfare we must fend off as we breathe back in all the germs our body is trying to get rid of. There is absolutely no science backing up the restrictions being forced on us, but there is science backing up why these restrictions should not be in place. So why do we listen to the lies rather than the truth? Interesting question……….if you want to control the masses, this is a good way to begin.
This whole experience has done nothing but create sadness for me. A deep sense of hopelessness especially when I hear comments from those who feel they are saving us all by getting the vaccine. That those of us who do not will hopefully be ok because everyone else is. I know the worst is yet to come.
So this is why I am sharing this video link below. It was an excellent interview for me to hear because I was sinking far too low. This man inspires hope, and is fighting the good fight. He is the first person I have seen speak about what is happening that I actually believe is trying to make a difference. He is the one walking against the crowd, seeing the truth of what is happening to this country, to the world and he is bravely marching forward to help those who have been so cruelly harmed by our government.
So many do not have the means to fight back, do not stand up against the system because they cannot afford to lose their job, pay the fine or the lawyer to fight it in court. It could take years of fighting, something most of us cannot deal with, so we comply. The longer this goes on the less likely those of us will be able to legally fight back. Despite how we feel, we continue so as not to create conflict. This was our mistake, and this is why the restrictions continue……..because we did not stand up when it would have been easier to do so.
The consequences of pushing us so hard, is everyone has a breaking point. When the anger and frustration builds for too long, the possibility of violence increases. There are far too many relying on the system to fix what’s happening…..we’ve seen how good that’s working! When the spotlight is finally shining on the truth, because yes, more and more people are beginning to see it, we could have a problem far worse than the supposed pandemic ever would have caused.