Just over 2 years ago I shared a video which I will again share on this post.
Being at home today, I was given the time to listen to the video, which I had forgotten about, and then to give some thought about what it means to me today. After reading the post from 2 years ago, I think I understand the frame of mind I was in at that time, so it was interesting to feel something a little different today.
At the time there was the feeling I had more leaves in my life, which is still very true. Today it hit me rather square in the face, most of my roots are in the “Spirit” world. How interesting to see this, feel and understand exactly what this means. My strongest, most deeply rooted connections, are with those who have passed. It seems to me this is why I have so much trouble connecting here in life. It explains why I have so much trouble being a root for anyone else I simply do not know how to trust on the level needed with those I meet. My best conversations, my clearest moments of thought, all coming from conversations with my father mostly. I have yet to meet his match and perhaps I have not wanted to because there is so much comfort being with him. But one needs human contact, so one can hope still, I suppose even at my age, for the same kind of roots to be found here on this earthly plane. When this happens, then my father can at last rest knowing his daughter has found the safety needed with someone who shares his commitment and strength.
I know I need someone rather extraordinary because I am not so easy to understand. I feel however, I have made some really good progress since my journey to Ecuador and back, so perhaps there is also hope my needs are not so out of reach after all. Understanding. Most of all, I need understanding and respect for the road I had to travel in order to complete my quest, which cannot really be described as simple or ordinary.
It feels good to revisit some of the stories and remember the feeling of experiencing life on that level, one which seems impossible to find here. I am also surprised to realize how much I had to say, remembering when I started out thinking I would struggle to find enough to say which could be of interest to others.
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