January 21, 2023
Once again, the reminder of an experience from years ago revisits me today. For most, I believe their home is important, it is the place where they start a family, raise their children and find comfort away from the outside world. It is our private domain which affords us the space to be our true selves. This is of course a general statement which has many variations depending on circumstances, location, etc. For some of us though, home is our cocoon, offering safe, secure space to drop our guard, heal and delve deeper into ourselves for the answers needed to do so.
Recently my journey found me removing the bandages of my mummy-like self in order to fly free. Today, after a rather difficult, very disruptive week in my home life, due to a new tenant moving into the store space below me, I find myself remembering a wonderful experience from the year 1991. What is normally a very safe and quiet place, was turned into chaos with the hammering, drilling and sawing which needed to be done to transform the space into the new tenants design. For me, this has been quite awful, but of course I understand it can’t be helped. However, without going into all the details, this new tenant has very disruptive energy which even at night invades my normally peaceful home. My cocoon has been split apart prematurely…..or has it? Definitely it has been split apart, but is it premature?
While we like to believe we are in complete control of the direction our life takes through each decision we make, the truth is, there are always going to be disruptions to our carefully laid out plans. As with my last story “Inside Out “, I feel a big change is coming, this one will determine how I spend the rest of my life. There is a “hurry up and wait” feeling in the pit of my stomach which means there is discomfort attached to what has begun to happen. This is what I have been working towards, yet being here is not as easy as one would think. The Spirits which came to me the other night in my dreams were an indication of what to expect, being part of the outside world in a way which I have avoided my whole life. This brings me back to my story from years ago which is about a moth.
While living in Olds, Alberta, the late spring of 1991, we had the great fortune to aid in the care of a cocoon which did survive to become a moth. I cannot remember now how we ended up having this cocoon come into our possession, but we kept it safe until it was ready to emerge in it’s new form. Truly this was a wonderful moment for me as it broke free from the confines of its secure home to become part of the world in a whole new way. I’m sure now you are piecing together why through the night, my Spirit Guides have reminded me of this story which so clearly shows me what I’m experiencing as I begin to live in my world in a new way.
What was not expected by me, having never read anything about this process other than what I must have learned in school, long forgotten, was this moths wings were wet once it emerged, the weight making it impossible for it to fly. This obvious stage of vulnerability as the moth transitions from its old life, seems to carry a message from The Grandmothers, who wish me to recognize this stage in my own life as I begin to transition to life outside my mummy prison. For me the beauty of the experience continued as I was given the opportunity to hold the moth until it was ready to fly. In my mind as I walked around outside with this little creature in my hand letting the air aid in the drying process, was how colourful it was. My belief all moths, having never really paid much attention to how diverse the universe is at that time, was they were all brown and rather forgettable. Not so, as my experience in Ecuador also showed me, there are many colors and sizes with unique markings which make them so beautiful and interesting. So today, with anticipation in my belly, like the moth, I greet a new day with the wonders of a child on a new, never before experienced journey. Since I was born, I have been hidden, cocooned, so to speak as a means of rather unusual protection. As an adult, I learned to make wherever I was living my cocoon, an automatic response to how the outside world affected me, which is often harsh due to my empathic abilities.
As the peace in my home was shaken apart over the last few weeks, it has become clear, this change means accepting my home will not necessarily be a place of isolation in the future. How this manifests, is to be the next leg of my journey. Perhaps it means I will no longer spend so much time alone, finding a companion who will understand and support me – what a wonderful, yet kind of terrifying thought. It is frightening because I have not experienced such a gift since I was a child, so the question is, will I be able to recognize and accept a situation which has in the past only added to my grief? It must be acknowledged, the Spirits alerted me, so this is indication in and of itself I am ready for this new challenge. Nature has been my teacher for so much of my life, I cannot help but admire and be grateful for the beauty which surrounds me. I feel excited and scared at the same time, indicating a new challenge bringing with it any number of rewards just for being brave enough to say “let’s do it, let’s see where we go from here”!
I can’t help wonder what unexpected surprise awaits me as I begin this day, knowing from past experiences…….anything can happen!
0 Comments