I woke up in the wee hours of the morning, unable to fall back to sleep. This seems to happen a lot lately, I suppose because there are many things running around in my mind which will not leave me alone even in my sleep.
The rain began to fall which seemed to calm my spirit, so I just let it take away my sorrows which finally allowed me to drift into sleep once more. Before I did though, I sent embraces of love to my children whom I have not heard from. The three oldest of my children have not spoken to me in 20 years, their lives completely separate from mine now, but we are never apart in my mind. Lucas has not spoken to me since he was laid off due to the virus, for reasons unknown. I feel lost because of his silence, and my thoughts often bring me to the notion we may never see each other again. I found sending the embrace last night reminded me that love is all that matters. The distance between us made greater by the silence can not stop the beauty I felt in those moments of my love I experienced this morning. I see their true colors, and they are, each of them so beautiful…..just like a rainbow!
They did such a beautiful job of this song (link above), for the first time I really listened to the lyrics and understood the importance of this song from a time of my youth.
I realize I may never know why they won’t speak to me, what I did to make them so angry, that they preferred to walk away rather than love me back. This knowledge is mostly what occupies my mind lately because in times of great change as we are now experiencing, we should stand by each other. I realized this morning how sad I am because my children are not in my life. For years I have put those emotions in a box and placed them in the closet of my mind as I did with my childhood memories. In this way I do not get overwhelmed by the loss. This box is not under heavy lock and key as my childhood memories have been, so they are more accessible, but still, I must retain strict control regarding their presence. Yes, I think we do rise again as we look at our children’s faces. Their photos remind me of cherished moments in time.
This song was shared this morning by my friend Wally. It is an inspiration from those on the front line of dealing with this virus. They offer hope with the sharing of their beautiful voices – if they can believe, so can we……
I am not angry with my children, and it occurs to me maybe I don’t want to understand their absence. Understanding may force me to face the ugliness in myself which offers the explanation as to why I am unable to believe when others tell me I am a good person. I will smile and say thank you, but the words do not reach inside where acknowledgement takes place. It seems impossible for me to believe anything good about myself, but I see the goodness in others and I am inspired to help them grow.
This is what keeps me going, seeing the hope in someone else for a better life. Can we heal the world just by seeing hope in someone else’s eyes and offering assistance? I am beginning to think so, if we continue to pay it forward.
This is an absolutely beautiful rendition of this song, the children are truly amazing!! The lyrics as important today as they were when the song first came out. Seeing the children preform from all walks of life gives it so much meaning. The children want peace in their time….
It is Easter morning, just another day for me, but my memories are of a day belonging to spring, a day of hope and warmer days. A day of PEACE. Can we begin to see the value of a world without fighting, greed and pull together with peace and love? Watching these videos tells me that Yes we can make the world a better place.
Love is all that matters…..
The link above is such an important representation of possibility. It is a symbol because as we can clearly see – the children are full of love and hope. This is truly amazing considering how much the people from the country of Uganda, in particular, have been through. Hope is a beautiful thing……it comes in the bright and colorful representation of these children from different countries smiling and sharing their joy.
This song was first performed in 1991 and I remember it well. It’s meaning transcends time and distance. Many obviously still understand the value of its lyrics.
The words of these songs chosen today represent to me the possibility of change. For years now, hearing voices raised in harmony in this way gives me so much joy. the fact that there are so many versions of each song tells me that I am not alone with this. As I listened to each song, beginning with the one from my friend, I was brought back to a more positive frame of mind.
I cannot say that the sadness is gone, but the box has been carefully placed back on the shelf in my mind. As has happened so many times in my life, the music has mended my broken heart, lessening the feelings of loss. No matter what we have been through, the reasons why are not as important as pursuing happiness, appreciating the gifts of each day. I love my children, they are precious to me. With their lives, I was taught to value what childhood should be, not what I experienced. Watching them grow and change over the years, gave me the courage to face the truth of what had been locked away. Perhaps they will never understand this, but I do, and I hold them close to my heart in gratitude each day.
They did an absolutely fantastic version of this song, every aspect perfect. I love how they have the electronic images placed in the hall where they would normally preform, a great idea! The lead singer has a beautiful voice, carrying me away with her passion.