The sun is shining, it’s a beautiful day. Laura has returned and so the man who who gave me such discomfort over the last few days has now left. It seemed to me the sunshine returned as a reward and I have been revelling in its warmth this morning. Gifts come to us in many forms, and I have had enough time to think about all that has happened this past week, and therefore appreciate the value of my experience.
It was yesterday morning as I woke up that I realized what the experience showed me, an idea of how much I have grown this past year. The big realization? I did not freeze! Over the years when threatened, I had a terrible tendency to just freeze, go far into myself so I could not feel what was happening. The feelings would creep in later.
Maybe this does not seem like much of a gift or reward to many, but to me it was rather beautiful. To feel yourself become a rag doll as someone hits you or threatens your person is so much worse that being in the moment and having a choice to stop it, despite how awful it is making you feel. Maybe this is why I wanted to share the story, I’m not completely sure. But it seems to me that having a choice in any situation is far better than retreating into that silent space in our minds.
My goal in sharing my story has been from the start to give others hope that improvements do happen, we do get better.
It took some hours of quiet reflection for me to appreciate the significance of feeling what was happening in the moment it happened and being able to stop it instantly.
To every season, turn, turn, turn……it seems so appropriate at this time of great change in all our lives. The small or possibly big changes we experience as individuals impacted by what is happening around us globally. Forced as we are to slow down and truly take stalk of how we live, how our lifestyle impacts our world, each other and how maybe it is time to change.
In recent conversations with my friend who, with spring in the air, has been able to spend time in her garden, enjoying the warm sun and the new growth. In my mind I could see her enjoying herself, connected to the spirits around her, especially the fairies. Her partner makes beautiful fairy doors for the garden, so I was delighted with the imagery in my mind. Imagination is a beautiful gift.
This is what I said to her……
“Maybe from this quiet time in your beautiful garden, seeds of a new venture will also grow. We plant, we watch and then we reap the rewards. Maybe that’s how we have to see this part of our journey. Are we just the seeds of opportunity freshly planted? Can we grow a beautiful field of hope with this time? “
Apuela is virus free, so Charles thought we would have the strict quarantine lifted next week. I will go running again, enjoy a broader view of the world, and be thankful for being in the perfect place during such restrictions. Charles came to visit, as did Susi who brought me some fresh carrots and lettuce. Charles then went into town for a few things and brought me some eggs and coffee – yippee! I think I was more afraid of running out of coffee than food. Crazy I know, especially because I stopped drinking coffee for the first 3 months I lived in Ecuador. But it is such good coffee here, grown in my backyard, almost literally, so can you blame me?
I have been watching the different species of birds eating the guava from the tree outside my room. There is at least 5 maybe six different species happily pecking away, often chasing each other from the best choices. Not much hope of me getting those best choices, but I have enjoyed the entertainment – Gods tv.
The other day I watched as the larger rooster chased my dear Foghorn Leghorn away from his hens. I was alerted to the problem by the familiar squawks coming from Foghorn and then saw him flap his wings in an attempt to put greater distance between them much faster. To his great surprise (I’m sure) he landed in the pond. I went over immediately to make sure he had survived the shock of hitting water rather than land, to see him rather happily paddling around the pond. However, he had reached the wall and was unable to figure out how to get out of the pond now that he safely reached the other side.
I knelt down to try and lift him out of the water, but he was too low for me to grab. This seemed to get him out of his trance though, and looking at me, he saw he could make a turn and get to the dirt shore. Flapping his wings when his feet touched ground he was able to get himself out. I knew it wasn’t polite to laugh, especially since I had embarrassed him on a different day as he attempted to jump from a plastic chair onto my hammock, but I couldn’t help it.
🤣😂🤣😂
It really was something to watch as Foghorn stood on the edge of the seat, one leg partially raised rocking back and forth. I didn’t want to miss anything so decided not to try to get my phone to snap a picture. Then he just went for it….landed and immediacy fell off as the hammock swung wildly. I couldn’t help it I broke out into laughter. He made some interesting noises as he ran past me, disappearing around the building seconds later. I got the distinct impression he was embarrassed, and so went to find him, tell him I was sorry for laughing. But he had hidden away somewhere, night was closing in and I knew I wouldn’t find him in the dark. I said my apologies anyway because I could feel his embarrassment, difficult as that may be for some to understand.
So when Foghorn came out of the water I told him he was beautiful even as I laughed, hoping he would not be embarrassed again. He shook, fluffed up his plumage and continued on his way, but calmly. What a character, honestly……
So I leave you on that happy note today, knowing you will understand that our lives are always changing, growing and becoming something we may not have asked for. But we survive, we adapt and we remain. None of know when our time is up, so live in the moment, enjoy this day and don’t worry about tomorrow. It will be what it is and you’ll get there soon enough…… to every season……turn, turn, turn……