Crossroads

I think there is always a time when doing a project such as this when someone like me does not know which way to turn. I really do not know how to believe in myself as my life has taught me not to. This is not me looking for sympathy, it is just a fact of my upbringing. I am just not aware that I have the ability to succeed at anything, I just never have.

I have thought quite a bit about this book and the way I should share it. I have thought about my father mostly as he has played a significant role in the book coming together. I have wondered many times how he would feel about mainstream publishing and it always makes me hesitate. I have also considered just putting it on amazon, but that too keeps hitting me sideways. I guess it’s like my artwork, I could never put a value on the originals, it never felt right to sell them. The prints were much easier to put on the market, although that too was not really easy for me because it meant putting myself in a position of possible rejection. Rejection is very difficult for me to handle!

I have come up with a solution which I hope will be beneficial for all, but in order for it to spread, I will have one request from you. I would ask that you share the link to this blog to anyone you feel the story, in part or in whole, could benefit. That is all there is to it. I will not be asking for any money, although it will be a long process to get the whole book this way. For this reason I am working on an E-Book format for Amazon/Kindle so if that becomes a possibility, then I will let you know about the availability and the cost. 

I know there will be many who are just curious about the crazy lady that went to Ecuador on an adventure they could not comprehend, and that is just fine. There will always be those people in this world who need to find answers by reading about another’s adventures. I was one of them. Until now – this was not something I would have believed I was capable of doing, and this journey has given me the ability to understand things I could not have any other way.

My plan is to put a story or two a day on this blog, some stories being much longer than others, but you will get the story as if it was a book. I will include the photos and images of art that would have been included in the book, so that it will be as close as possible to the real thing. 

I welcome any comments, and I encourage you to make up your own mind as to the identity of my parents or where I am from. I am giving you all the information that I was given, the difference being you are receiving it partly in better order and at a much faster rate. These memories you will be receiving began in the early 1990’s, so my clues were very widespread. The other difficulty I had was lack of awareness and knowledge of these newsworthy people because I did not read the paper, watch TV or listen to radio. I have not had radio or TV in my home since about 1993.

I have never followed politics, never voted, and generally do not believe in government. I have absolutely no reason to trust the systems in place and I am sure I never will. But each of us form our opinions and conclusions based on our own life story, our experiences and the journey that brought us to this moment. There will be some that feel as I do and probably most will not, but this is the way life is. It is our ability to accept even when we do not understand and our right to express those differences that is important. As long as greed and fear are the motivators for decisions to be made and carried out, then stories like mine will continue to happen. 

I wish to express also that I am not looking to “go after” anyone, nor am I looking for compensation, the book was not written for this purpose. It has been one of the greatest healing tools, offering me some peace which can only come from understanding. So the book is now in your hands, may it help in some way.