“Please be stronger than your past….” George Michael from the song Cowboys and Angels. This is a song I have always loved, the words resonating with me on a few levels, but when he says “Please be stronger than your past, the future might still give you a chance”, I definitely relate knowing how much this has been part of my healing process. It speaks of believing in yourself as well as never losing hope, both ideals I try never to let go of, at least not for long.
Butterflies are symbolic of transformation, so I think this is why I like to draw them. There is such a wide variety of butterflies here, the possibilities seem endless for an artist wishing to express the idea of transforming ones self. I feel they remind us of the beauty we all carry inside us. And I do believe we need to be reminded of that beauty from time to time, some of us more than others. I believe it is also helpful to look for that beauty in others, especially if we don’t understand them. It’s so easy to get caught up in the details of our discomfort when faced with something or someone different.
I watched the movie “Departures” a few weeks ago for the second time. The first time I watched it I didn’t realize what it was going to be about, thinking maybe it would involve travel. Funny enough the main character in the story also thought this when he applied for a job with the term departures in the description. The movie is Japanese and sub-titled, so you have to pay attention in order not to miss anything important in the subtleties of their conversations. To me it is one of the most beautiful stories I have seen, dealing with death, preparing the departed for their final journey. The two men who the story revolves around are to me, spiritually beautiful, leaving quite an impression because of their dignity and grace of being. Their absolute respect for the person who died, their ability to impart that respect no matter the circumstances was a beautiful reminder that we do not need to understand someone in order to accept them for who they are, give them a chance to earn our respect. It was obvious they felt everyone deserved the same courtesy as they prepared each body for their final departure. The ceremony performed in front of the family, if there was one, allowed them to say good-bye, acceptance trickling into their awareness. They showed the same care and respect in situations where there was no family, which said so much about their dedication to their belief. I think it is tragic when a life ends because understanding was not possible. The beauty of who they were not allowed to shine because the reality of it could not be accepted. While in many cases death is difficult for us to deal with, it is not always under tragic circumstances, however as they prepared the body in those situations, it still became apparent that we unfortunately may not have understood the person who’s life has ended. Of course there are many reasons which contribute to a situation such as this, not always the fault of the person saying good-by. However sometimes loss is the only way for us to see beyond our expectations. I love stories which force me to question my reasons for thinking certain ways, asking me to look at situations from a different angle, and maybe open my mind to accept another’s point of view.
I once served a woman who came into the restaurant where I was working at the time, wishing to order her meals to take away. She was a foreigner, the country she was from, I was not sure of, but she did not speak english very well. In the end, I was certain she could not read even though she made an effort to look at the menu. She seemed to know what she wanted, so it was not difficult to work through it, we both just needed a bit of patience. What I did not think of at the time, was she did not understand the cost of what she just ordered. Having never been in this situation myself, this detail did not really enter my mind, so when it came time to pay, she was way short of the amount needed. Her embarrassment was obvious, and I felt terrible for her, realizing how I would feel if it were me standing there trying to pay for this meal.
I told her it was ok, the meal was on me, she did not need to worry about it, I would take the responsibility for the misunderstanding. She was not at all comfortable with this situation, so I tried to comfort her by looking her in the eye, taking her hand and smiling as I insisted it would be fine. After she left the chef came out, the restaurant was not busy, it was almost closing time, and he could hear my conversation through the door. I explained what happened and he said “well you’ve lost that $50.00 which made me realize, that I had done this without thinking of myself or my own situation. But it was only for a few seconds that I allowed the worry to stay, knowing how difficult it was for her to accept my gift. It was fine, I was fine, she needed help and I gave it to her, and later I left work knowing I did the right thing and let it go. So it was incredible to me when this woman came back to the restaurant about a month later to pay me. I had forgotten all about it until I saw her walk in the door, a big smile on her face as she approached me. It was a beautiful moment for me.
I have come to appreciate on a different level, we are not all blessed with enough education to allow for comfort in certain situations. Simple spelling mistakes change a whole sentence when using the translator, so I am very aware now of the subtleties which can lead to unintentional misunderstandings. There are new doors opening in my mind showing me to look beyond what is right in front of me, what I think is obvious. I still think of that woman, maybe more so now because I am like her with my inability to communicate, and I can’t help but admire her courage, and the honourable way she handled herself.
So many different things go through my mind here. I have always been one who thinks (too much, I’m told) about everything around me. I see it a good thing now, that I am able to do so as I watch, mostly in silence those around me. I feel I am learning to let go of judgement, at least I hope I am, because peoples lives are not as simple perhaps as we need them to be in order to be more comfortable with our own life.
0 Comments